These questions have been teasing at my brain lately, making me wake up in the night and sneak out to peak at the pieces I have up for family display. Are they any good? It's hard to judge the value and worth of your own work, especially when you're filled with doubt about it.
I've only been "an artist" for a few years. Most of that has been from the ground up, taking classes and getting past drawing stick figures. I still consider myself a beginner, my artwork is reflective of that. My process has always been mostly for myself.
But lately I find myself craving validation. I want to put my work out there to be seen. I want people to look at it and go "that is art." Maybe they won't understand it, but they'll accept it as artwork and move on. They won't see it as the craft of a lonely 33 year old fat chick who paints on a tiny slice of a TV tray while trying to do her day job....
Then I can truly call myself "artist".
How do you ever decide you've earned that elusive title, the distinction between crafter and artist? What makes you feel "good enough" to have your work out there for public consumption? Do I have anything truly to give to the art world?
My girlfriend at said that my art was simplistic and "light". I guess in some ways it is. A lot of the depth that is in the work I do gets hidden, the meaning lost in the layers. I end up with a product that's fairly sparkly, pink and upbeat but underneath there's a lot of heaviness, weariness and pain. Life. There's a lot of life. Do I need to be less subtle about the "life" in order for my work to mean anything? To be valid?
These are questions I struggle with. What are your thoughts? Is work that is "light and fluffy" and bordering on crafty considered "art"? At what point do you become and artist? What validation do you need? Let's talk.
(Phantasm-one of my more "artsy" pieces, done in charcoals layered over craft paints and modeling paste.)
I don't recall "simplistic" or "light" being the exact words, but that's hopeful, right? I can't think of Tam or Suzi or even Mindy as "dark and dreadful". LOL...I draw little girls and sometimes mature women, but validation? It came the first time someone wanted to know the way I made a girl and when my own sister told me that...ahem...I'd drawn her as a pirate. *grin* Well, that's true validation. That I've sold a couple of things was nice. That my artwork is the lead-in artwork for the local Lowcountry art group I belong to...that helped...and it's a portrait drawn from life. Yeah. That was the day I felt 'mature' in what I do. Now, will I ever get published? Maybe. If so, where would I want to go from there? Teach? Well, yes. I want to go to conventions and travel and teach in Bali and such, but the truth is, I'm a realist. I'm not cut out for that. I have responsibilities. I can't walk a convention center over and over or stand and teach, much less 'be' a teacher at this point. I don't have the $1700 camera recommended by 5 'teaching' artists at the moment. Oh, the cheap model is $1100, but it's not really 'quality' enough. So, realistically, I could half-ass it with a crappy camera, struggle to pay for a Ning site or settle for running it through my blog like some that struggle, but the truth is, if I do it, I want to do it RIGHT. I don't mind using cheap supplies! I love that. I love it to pieces. But, I have to say, if I can't give my money's worth for poor people paying cash for my advice, I won't take it. I can only hope to rig up a holder for my cell phone and record tiny YouTube vids and be glad if anyone sees them. Will I submit to magazines? You betcha! But, validation came when you sold your first print. You're an artist IF you do art. I'm submitting three pieces by April 15th. I'm submitting on the magazine's subject and I'm going to do a write up on who I am as an artist, the type of 'things' I do, and the supplies I used in the pieces. I may not get published, ever, since the majority of the women who do have studios, have very active etsy shops where they sell things (yes, I look), highly followed blogs, strong YouTube followings, and have active teaching roles already. Instagram, Facebook and Twitter aside (and yes, they all have big followings there, too) I wonder why I want to be in a magazine I can barely afford? Yeah. In the end, it's publication, if not full validation. A gallery showing will be my true validation in the art world. Oh, did I tell you, the SC State Museum did a huge, two month long, expo on...Art Journals two years ago. I can't give over my journals like these magazines want, so I'll have to be willing to slice out the submissions I want to make and then tape them back in someday. We are artists. This is art. The original sentiment on the girl is sad and is still present in the final outcome. You're right, it's wistful. It's lovely. Simplistic and light? That's not a bad thing...maybe the world needs light. I know I do.
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